It's starting to...

suck; not having people read or comment on my semi-published exercises of free speech.

A lack of audience completely defeats the purpose. So please, if you're out there reader, let me know. Don't turn me into a commie.

Bzzzzzz

If you tasered someone and that someone was holding onto you, would you get shocked too?

Midlife crisis

It's strange that a 40 year old is what we call "middle-aged". I've always thought 20 was it, that mid point, high point, peak, that central point of which the rest of your life revolves around. When you're a teen, you're pre-middle-aged and just itching for uni, a hole of an apartment and sweet sweet independence. When you're 30, you're post-middle-aged and reminiscent of those wild wild years. I guess technically, my definition would mean death at 40.

40 just doesn't seem... like it should be the middle age. I mean, I get that life doesn't end when you start using Olay's anti-aging cream, just look at George Clooney (i could... all day long). But what comes after 40?

50, 60, 70, 80... years of dementia, old-age obesity, arthritis, osteoporosis, Alzheimer's, clogged arteries, heart attacks, strokes, baby food, diaper rash... FOR FORTY MORE YEARS?! That's not a life.

I guess that's why I'm so freaked out about reaching 20, like the 39s are about the big 4-o. It feels like half my life is over and I know you middle-aged women would shun me for saying such a thing but it's true. I'm nervous about my middle-agedness. I want it so much to be the best decade of my life.

Cheese!

I can say cheese without smiling!

what do you make of that?

Aspersion

a slanderous remark, or the act of slandering; a slur or calumny; a sprinkling of holy water
en.wiktionary.org/wiki/aspersion

Baptism marks the beginning of a lifetime of slandering.